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A Day of Mourning for Gay Red Sox Nation

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Today is a sad day for gay Red Sox nation. Hottie GM Theo Epstein is officially engaged to long time friend Marie Whitney. Unfortunately, this means that Theo is officially off the market. Who does this girl think she is? Her name is Whitney but she ain't no Houston. Thanks to her, my future husband will never know that he could have been my future husband.

Hey Theo, now that you're taken, can you at least help a brother out and sign someone hot who we can obsess over?

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